I just needed to write…

It has been quite some time since I’ve written in my blog, but as I am sitting here heating up my knees (so I can get some comfort and feeling back into them), I decided to just update you all on how Lupie Momma’s life has been going.

Well, I am in a midst of a Lupus flare. OH BOY!!  I’ve been dealing with body aches, joint pain, and sleepless nights for a couple of weeks now.  On top of that I have been experiencing sinus issues, which landed me in the doctor’s office, along with, 3 medications (Montelukast Sod, Azelastine, and Claritin) added to my daily regimen.

I haven’t been blogging my symptoms like I should, but I have been posting on FB and letting people know what’s going on with me.  Some people think I do it for pity, but I really do it for myself.  For me to see what I’ve been through and how I’ve overcome it.  Anyway, I will say that I appreciate all the people that care about me, those who reach out to me asking how I’m doing, or those who offer their help, or those who just offer up a simple prayer on my behalf.  While most people have no idea what it feels like to experience constant pain as you go throughout your day, it is comforting to know that they send their well wishes and/or prayers.

Many days, I just go on suffering in silence.  I just go throughout the day, just praying I can make it to the end without any major issues.  I still enter my classroom with a smile on my face, letting my students know that I am still happy to be there, while many are clueless to the silent winces I may make as I walk around the room assisting as needed.  I still answer my phone and listen to people talk about what’s going on in their lives and the things that they are going through.  I still help my daughter with her homework and make sure she has food to eat and clean clothes on her back.  I still do all the things I normally would and try to wait patiently for the day that the pain subsides.

In my mind, I am still young.  In my body, I am MAD old.  LOL! But, I still feel like I have a whole life ahead of me and a bucket list of so many things I want to do and see. Every time Lupus tries to get the best of me I think about those things.  I think about my goals, my dreams.  (For starters, I REALLY need to lose 30 pounds.  I also want a new car).  I think about the day that I can finally say I am Lupus Free!!!

There’s so much more I want to talk about and should talk about in this blog, but for now I will stop here.

Until next time…

Lupie Momma Sig

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Looking over my life

It’s that time of the year for self-reflection!  Let’s see where this blog post will take me!  Ugh oh!!!  Since I have no idea what I want to say, I’ve just decided to come on here, write, and see what happens.  *covers eyes*  **wait I can’t do that because I have to see what I’m writing** LOL!

Prior to sitting down at my computer and staring at a blank screen for about 5 minutes, I decided to take a walk down memory lane and review what I have posted so far.  I have 203 published posts since I began this blog in March of 2011.  I spoke a lot about my Lupus struggles in the beginning.  I shared so much of my journey, the ups and downs, the pain, the fears, etc.; however, the most important thing to me is that I saw evidence in my strength and faith when dealing with this disease.  Lupus is a part of me, but it does NOT own me.  It gets me down, but you know what? I fight and get right back up with God’s help.

Back on September 2nd, I had my last Rheumatology follow-up appointment to check my status. At the conclusion of my appointment, my doctor lowered 2 of the 3 medications I take and added another vitamin to my regimen.  Now, my followers know that I panic Every Single Time there is a change to my medical regimen because I dislike feeling like a guinea pig.  I believe that if it’s working for me and I’m doing well, leave it alone.  However, decreasing medications, that’s a great thing!!!  BUT!!! The fear of having a Lupus flare was overpowering the excitement of being well enough to decrease my meds.  I seriously had to sit myself down, pray, and tell God that I trust Him to get me through this because His child was a mess leaving the doctor’s office that day.  Today, I feel like my body has adjusted quite well to the decreased meds and tomorrow is my follow-up appointment to assess just how well I am doing with my new regimen.  All I can say is to God be the glory!  He kept me, just as He promised He would!  🙂

The other thing I noticed I wrote about were my school experiences. Wellllllll, I graduated!!!!  I maintained my A’s even with everything that was going on in my life.  I had moments where I thought I could not do it because of my circumstances, but again, God said, don’t worry My child. Just keep pressing forth and you will earn your degree.  Yup!!!  I sure did by God’s grace!!! Latoya D. Ashe, MAEd.  (I love writing that because I know what I had to go through to get those letters attached to the end of my name). Praise God!

Ahhhh Motherhood!  🙂 My beautiful princess and miracle child is 6 years old!!!!  On her 3rd birthday, I wrote a post providing some details about her birth and on her 6th birthday, I shared a FB post with a brief (well brief for me) testimony of why I say she’s my miracle baby.  Sometimes I look at her and see how much of her is like me.  I see her personality, I see her thirst for knowledge, I see how much love she has to give, I see how much of a handful she can be (lol), and so on, and I say “Wow God, you allowed ME to be her mom?” Please continue to watch over us and guide me, Lord.  I prayed for her, I cried for her, I thank God for her!  I will not take this opportunity for granted. (Lord, I need help on the spoiling her part though…like a LOT of help!  My mom loves to remind me that I have my hands full with her and that I have my work cut out for me. Ugh oh!).  That’s my sweetums though!!!

Last but definitely not least, I will close by saying that my spiritual life continues to be very important to me.  I strive every day to strengthen my relationship with Christ and to teach my daughter all about the love of Jesus.  I know Jesus loves me because He shows me every day.  There were times where, in my human and limited mind, I couldn’t figure out how I would get through my circumstances and God showed up and showed out, over and over again.  He has helped me out in too many ways to count.  I don’t deserve His love but you know what, He loves me and continues to bless me anyway.  2014 was a trying year for me and many times, I attempted to write about my life and do my annual reflection, but I couldn’t bring myself to publicly blog about it.  However, 2015 has really shown me that, although my life isn’t perfect, it’s mine.  I’ve made mistakes, but my mistakes do not define me, they have helped me grow.

My life has taught me so much in my 34 years and I will not take any of those lessons for granted.  I will keep living and pressing forth as long as God allows me to see another day.  I will continuously seek God’s presence.  I am so determined to live life joyously and happily and delighting myself in the Lord, that with the love and support from my wonderful church family, the San Antonio Breath of Life SDA Church; I rededicated my life to Christ publicly, by getting re-baptized!  And you know what?  2015 has been an amazing year for me (I still have 11 days left, but I am claiming the rest of the year will continue to be amazing in the Name of Jesus!) and I wouldn’t change any part of it.  I am happy.  I am thankful.  I feel blessed!  I am looking forward to what 2016 will bring.

God is great!!!!

Until next time, peace and blessings to you all…

Lupie Momma Sig